Skinwalkers (2006)

0

skinwalkersWhere the hell does one begin for this?

I’ll give you a starting point: This sucks. It’s extremely half-arsed attempt at a werewolf movie (if you want to call it that).

You see, two warring factions of werewolves: those who want to stay as werewolves and those who want to go back to humanity, are fighting over a little kid who has the power to end the “curse” of lycanthropy.

What this film never explains, however, is why this child has the power to end the curse. It doesn’t explain why the moon is red over the course of the film. It doesn’t explain why everyone has fifteen various guns (at the least; turning one scene into a modern western with good ol’ grandma weilding a shotgun…or two hand-cannons…I can’t remember which).

Oh, don’t forget the obligatory and unecessary sex scene about twenty minutes in that *really* furthers the story.

This is one of the worst films I’ve seen in quite a while, even by genre standards. I can get into a werewolf movie, honest, but I could not get into this by the slightest, with the exception of the “pretty colours” on screen.

The effects in this seem to have been done by houses that do effects for Sci Fi Channel movies because they were very blatant matte paintings. I’m glad they got Stan Winston’s effects house to do the werewolf make-up. But not all is good in the Land of Stan: the werewolves move like humans.

What?

What is the point in transforming humans into human-looking werewolves when all they will be doing is walking like villains from a poor eighties film?

There’s nothing in this, with the exception of Rhona Mitra (who plays the mother who knows nothing of her “late” husband’s child’s half-arse destiny), that pays off for you watching this. I enjoy watching Rhona act in films but even in this it seems either she re-recorded all her dialogue after the fact as every line she said, the audio seemed to be slightly behind, or they got another actress to record over her lines.

It’s a poorly written, half-heartedly executed film that isn’t even “so bad it’s good”. It’s just bad purely because it takes itself too seriously and one event at the end makes no sense whatsoever.

I can’t recommend this to even the most completist of werewolf movie fans as it’s just not necessary viewing. Go watch Ginger Snaps or something. One star purely for Rhona Mitra, shame her performance was pissed on with poor ADR dubbing and the simple fact she was in a film with a half-baked script.

1

Advertisements